Thursday, June 25, 2009

Where are we now?

X...
My heart, my mind and I are all over the place. Scattered like the ashes spread across the ground, nothing stable inside of me. My heart, my mind and I are lost, lost in this exotic world, thrown into this paradise-hell for no reasonable reason at all. I must sew myself together, my heart, my mind and I, attach themselves to each other. How on earth can that happen? My heart lusts for comfort. My mind is tainted by the past that steals that comfort from under me, and I can't see what lies over the mountains that close in on me. One day the mountains are no more than a mole hill, whilst other days the mountains inject fear into my blood because of their grandiosity. What ever i perceive the mountains to be, I cannot see over them. This blindness stops me in my tracks. I cannot act if I cannot see. I am frozen. I am lost, I am a prisoner of my own creation, for I have created my own boundaries. I have created these mountain like walls that surround me. I am a beast that is holding a future ransom, my own future. I must escape. But why must I escape? Is there any reason to escape? I am lost, but I am not looking for anything so I cannot be found. As I look to the sky I see a clock that claims to count down time. I cannot see the time to be counted down, all I can see is a short note. The note is vibrant for all to see. The note lies against the black sheet we call the night sky. "Moments will pass until you die, searching is a fruitless endeavor. Everybody is lost. Deal with it."

X tapped his foot on the ground to test if he was still on earth, then realized he was out of his mind. He fell to his knees, thrust his hands up to the sky and pleaded to the sky to take his pain away. X wanted help, but as we all know 'help' was not on it's way. X forgot that it was inevitable that beautiful things would one day cross his path, but he could not handle the responsibility of choosing the paths that would intersect with beauty.

Was there a right path to take, so that X could come to pass beauty on his venture? Is it too much to ask for a beautiful path, to create a path with ceaseless beauty, so that one does not hope to cross beauty? A path as such is a life worth leading. Wonder lets X dance, for X, living is flowing with a smile. That is a path well worth traveling, is it not?